Put us to the test

From: Smartsurance
Sent: 20 September 2011
To: Allen Johnson
Subject: Put us to the test













How much could you save?
People who have used our services and switched to providers of their choice saved on average between 20% and 30%.
Put us to the test!

For existing policy holders:
Find out if you are getting the best you can.
It's a good idea to check that your insurance provider(s) is still offering a competitive price.
We can arrange the most competitive and affordable rates for you.
We will ensure that you are not disappointed.

New quotes:
We believe we can beat any quote.
Insurers have different risk profiles and options;
it is good to check whether you can get a better offer from another insurer.
You can find the most affordable car insurance saving thousands every year.








From: Allen Johnson
Sent: 17 October 2011
To: Smartsurance
Subject: Put us to the test


Dear SmartSurance

Thanks for this all-too-enticing insurance sales pitch. It is ironic that you ask me “how much could you save?”

Now, as a lover of good insurance as well as saving as many shekels that I can possibly muster - My family and I must still be able to survive right?

As it is, we’re already saving loads by washing our toilet paper, grating our rice etc. Sometimes, I even go Number 2 on our front lawn so that thieves will think we have big aggressive dogs, and be deterred…

I have a very large “Book of Quotes” at home. It includes some insightful words from the likes of Bill Clinton, Winston Churchill, and that crazy Oscar Wilde dude…

None of what they say in that book though relates to saving money or insurance though? I’m disturbed by this, because if it wasn’t a trending topic in their day, what are the odds of it being so today?

“Don’t quote me on that”, by the way! (Ha ha, a little bit of insurance jargon fun…)

Oh, I forgot to mention that I prefer asset insurance to life insurance….I recently acquired the late Dr Jack Kevorkian’s suicide machine on E-Bay, tweaked a few settings, and “killed” myself for 24hrs so that I could see what money my next of kin would get. Let me tell you, they almost screwed me…Luckily that stupid machine auto-revived me at the programmed point and I was able to stalk out of the mortuary straight to those scum at “Live To Die!”….

Anyway, please let me know on the asset insurance? And one last thing, taxidermy is a part time hobby of mine….would you cover 2 stuffed male buffalo, and one dwarf albino sea-horse?

Regards

Allen

Is your company's data disaster-proof?

From: Big Promotions
Sent: 04 October 2011
To: Allen Johnson
Subject: Is your company's data disaster-proof?










Hi Colleague,

Many companies and organizations have some kind of backup plan for their files. The question is, does yours? Even if you currently back up data to a server, an external hard drive, or tape, your data may be at risk in the event of disaster unless it's safely and securely stored off-site.

That's where Vault-IT can help. We wanted to introduce you briefly to a few facts about us that you may want to consider in light of your current backup plan:
• We know data. Vault-IT manages petabytes of data for many customers from homes and businesses.
• Your data is safe with Vault-IT. Our world-class data centers use military-grade encryption.
• Businesses of all sizes trust Vault-IT. We serve Corporate Companies to small businesses, non-profits, and everything else in between.
• Vault-IT is simple to use, secure, and affordable and little management required. Vault-IT includes 24/7 support

See the attached PDF to learn more about Vault-IT online backup for business. We'd like to answer any questions you have about our service or backup in general. Just email bigpromotions@fantasticpromotions.kr with your contact info and one or our consultants will contact you.

Be safe!
The Vault-IT Team




Please note:
All Prices are Inclusive of VAT .
Terms of sale are direct deposit or Electronic funds transfer (EFT). Strictly no cheques

Disclaimer Note:
Everything in this email and any attachments relating to the official business of http://www.bigpromotions.co.za/ is proprietary to http://www.bigpromotions.co.za/ . It is for the eyes of the recipient, legally privileged and protected by law. The person addressed in the email is the sole authorised recipient. Please notify the sender immediately if it has unintentionally reached you and do not read, disclose or use the content in any way. http://www.bigpromotions.co.za/ cannot ensure that the integrity of this communication has been maintained nor that it has no errors, interception or interference.

THIS MAIL WAS SENT TO allen johnson

TO UNSUBSCRIBE Click Bellow
unsubscribe
Please do not add anything to the subject line!


From: Allen Johnson
Sent: 05 October 2011
To: bigpromotions
Subject: Fwd: FW: Is your company's data disaster-proof?

To whom it may concern

You have managed to engage my attention entirely with your dynamic diagram,this picture is not worth 1000 words, it is worth at least, the very least, 1046 words!

Especially the subtle way you have masculated the “back-up server”. It looks like the champion of 1999’s “Robot Wars”!

“Back-up” is an essential component of daily life, I recall being about 11 years old and my friend and I used to play “TJ Hooker” in the back yard, I was TJ and he was Romano (on account of him having the darker hair), and I would radio him, calling for “back-up” because two thugs were hailing bullets down on me whilst I was crouched down behind my trusty Ford Pinto police cruiser…

Anyway, this all looks awesome – I fully endorse ‘Vault-It’ for my Data back up!

p.s. I especially like the way you refer to me as ‘colleague’, and how you speak of ‘military grade encryption’ – feels like an episode of “Fringe”!

I have designed a (somewhat crude) logo that perhaps you can make use of for the “Data Vault It” system, you have already gathered that I am a fan of images over words in my first sentence, so have a look and let me know what you reckon!!

Regards “Colleague”!


Allen
























p.s. I noticed where you’ve written “TO UNSUBSCRIBE Click Bellow”, that there is no image of a ‘bellow’ to link to, I have taken the liberty of throwing one in for you! No need to thank me colleague! Ungratefulness is ‘bellow’ my dignity!