Put us to the test

From: Smartsurance
Sent: 20 September 2011
To: Allen Johnson
Subject: Put us to the test













How much could you save?
People who have used our services and switched to providers of their choice saved on average between 20% and 30%.
Put us to the test!

For existing policy holders:
Find out if you are getting the best you can.
It's a good idea to check that your insurance provider(s) is still offering a competitive price.
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We will ensure that you are not disappointed.

New quotes:
We believe we can beat any quote.
Insurers have different risk profiles and options;
it is good to check whether you can get a better offer from another insurer.
You can find the most affordable car insurance saving thousands every year.








From: Allen Johnson
Sent: 17 October 2011
To: Smartsurance
Subject: Put us to the test


Dear SmartSurance

Thanks for this all-too-enticing insurance sales pitch. It is ironic that you ask me “how much could you save?”

Now, as a lover of good insurance as well as saving as many shekels that I can possibly muster - My family and I must still be able to survive right?

As it is, we’re already saving loads by washing our toilet paper, grating our rice etc. Sometimes, I even go Number 2 on our front lawn so that thieves will think we have big aggressive dogs, and be deterred…

I have a very large “Book of Quotes” at home. It includes some insightful words from the likes of Bill Clinton, Winston Churchill, and that crazy Oscar Wilde dude…

None of what they say in that book though relates to saving money or insurance though? I’m disturbed by this, because if it wasn’t a trending topic in their day, what are the odds of it being so today?

“Don’t quote me on that”, by the way! (Ha ha, a little bit of insurance jargon fun…)

Oh, I forgot to mention that I prefer asset insurance to life insurance….I recently acquired the late Dr Jack Kevorkian’s suicide machine on E-Bay, tweaked a few settings, and “killed” myself for 24hrs so that I could see what money my next of kin would get. Let me tell you, they almost screwed me…Luckily that stupid machine auto-revived me at the programmed point and I was able to stalk out of the mortuary straight to those scum at “Live To Die!”….

Anyway, please let me know on the asset insurance? And one last thing, taxidermy is a part time hobby of mine….would you cover 2 stuffed male buffalo, and one dwarf albino sea-horse?

Regards

Allen