From: MOSSELBAY
Sent: 26 August 2011
To: Allen Johnson
Subject: Visit Soon and See Our Point !



Mosselbay is Great.


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AS multiple Town-of-the-Year laureate and one of SA's premier year round vacation destinations Mosselbay offers great climate, great services and great lifestyle opportunities.

Plus you dont have to be a millionaire to enjoy them.

ONLY two hours from the P.W.V .by Kulula, Onetime or SAA, three hours by road from both PE and Cape Town and with the city of George on your doorstep you're never further from the business hurly burly than you'd like to be.

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From: Allen Johnson

Sent: 26 August 2011

To: mosselbay@________

Subject: Visit Soon and See Our Point !

Dear Mosselbay

I have been keeping an eye on your idyllic shores for sometime now and am interested in procuring some seaside property.

Not too close to the ocean though, I have a chronic phobia of sudden rising tides, just like that song by Blondie – whenever I hear Debbie Harry’s voice I reflexively inflate the life – vest that I wear 24 hours a day.
We all have our little compulsions…

But I also don’t want to be too far away from the shoreline, you see – I enjoy angling but get tremendously sea-sick when I go out onto water, in fact I regularly vomit on myself even when taking a simple bath and believe me, trying to clean half-digested chicken nuggets between the grooves of my life vest is extremely difficult.

Anyway, I’m not a “traditional” fisherman, in fact I like to harpoon whales and would thus like to have a double-storey property near the ocean from which I can spear those big boys with my home-made harpoon rig. (I call it the “Herman Melville”)

It’s propulsion system is nuclear powered, I found 4kg of plutonium one day while searching for sea-shells in East London and promptly stuffed it down the front of my Speedo, it’s hard to sleep at night now as my crotch glows an eerie green…must have been something I ate.

Anyway, do you have something in that line? Oh, I hope there aren’t submarines patrolling the waters there – I used my harpoon once off the Persian Gulf and speared a U-Boat accidentally, nobody was killed although and the occupants were drenched, my harpoon had also penetrated the ocean floor so deep, that I struck oil.

I shared most of it with the submarine guys, and they’ve since bought a 10 – man submarine, with an en suite bathroom.
Win-win if you ask me…
Let me know will you?

BANZAI!!!!!




















Regards

Allen