Sent: 11 March 2011
To: Allen Johnson -
Subject: The Auctioneer
From: Allen Johnson
Date: Mon, Mar 14, 2011
Subject: Fwd: The Auctioneer
To: bookings@__________
To whom it may concern
At first glance, I thought this was an upcoming comic book hero movie update, I imagine someone like “The Auctioneer” would have really special powers – a flowing black cape and a magical wooden gavel with a really normal alias like Phil Mc Crevice…or maybe a wrestler that throws antiques at his opponent; “Take this silver serving dish in the midriff , Unwavering Refuses to Buy Anything Man!”
He might even have special psychic powers that could compel people to “do his bidding”… Unfortunately though, despite reading your mail, I am not “feeling the excitement grow as we move deeper into auction season”…which is when by the way?
Perhaps from March until autumn? When is the replenishing rutting season for auctioneer prey anyway, and are there daily restrictions on what you can haul in per Auctioneer?
I on the other hand, want to be a real noble hero when I grow up, like The Magenta Maniac pictured below (the fact that he’s snared Pale Paulina in the pic below is on account of the awesomeness of his under-arm deodorant)
Please let me know when the “Auction Season” starts so that I can start whittling sharp sticks for my Malay man-traps.
Regards
Allen
No comments:
Post a Comment