Sent: 22 November 2010 16:39
To: Training DVDs
Subject: RE: Training DVDs
To whom it may concern
I think Training DVD’s are the way of the future, heck! They’re the way of the PRESENT! Just last Saturday, instead of taking my 47 kg , muscle-bound Rottweiler, Lucifer for his Criminal Defence training down at the local police K9 unit – I decided instead, after reading this article during a Cartoon Network ad-break, to rent training DVD’s for him to watch alone at home like “Turner & Hooch”, and, after a cautious coin toss at Mr Video, I also got him “Cujo”…
This was the biggest mistake of my pet-owning life…my living room now resembles that inbred family’s cellar from “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”… Please Dr Jude…do you perhaps a training DVD for me? Maybe something entitled “How to Make Your R 50 000 Leather Living Room Ensemble Look Brand New With Just 1 Pint Of Krazy Glue! – Was R 499, now only R 498!”
I find this communication such a find! What bargains! I have added some comments in your correspondence below in green (for future self–reference chiefly)
One last thing, I’m a real nostalgia buff…do you have the below material in VHS? The sound of tapes rewinding actually soothes Lucifer now that I think of it…
From: Dynamic DVDs
Sent: 22 November 2010 11:35 AM
To:
Subject: Training DVDs
The best way to train staff, and improve productivity is with quality, South African produced DVD's...
A training provider registered with Services SETA December 2010
Dynamic DVD's
Presented by South Africa's leading speaker and trainers¦
Dr Brian Jude and Associates presents...
TRAINING DVD's AT GREAT PRICES
Due to the overwhelming demand that we have had from you, our customers, (to stop sending vitriole out…) we are once again offering this amazing special on training DVD's.
Customer service, Communication skills, Selling skills, Management, Inter-personal skills, Team building, Time management and assertiveness and Motivation.
TRAIN YOUR STAFF - MAXIMISE YOUR PROFITS (through making THEM pay for the DVD’s?)
With 8 great specially priced DVD packages
Each package is only R995-00 - VAT and postage included. (Does it come with popcorn vouchers?)
This offer is valid for South Africa only and expires on 14th January 2011
The most efficient way of training your people is by using DVD material.
• It allows your people to go through a subject at their own pace.
• It allows for constant repetition, making sure that the skills learned are internalised and put into practice. Could you say that again please?
• Also it allows people to use time that may otherwise NOT be productive. (watching TV always does, not so?...)
CUSTOMER SERVICE PACKAGE.
This R995-00 package includes:
1x Psychology of customer service DVD (Normal price R449-00) (Extra Features included? i.e. “The Making Of”?
1x What customer's love and loathe DVD (Normal price R449-00) (PG Rating?)
1x Who's responsible DVD (Normal price R449-00) The Nazi’s?..
1x The customer is king DVD (Normal price R449-00)
Does Yul Brynner make a cameo? Sorry, that’s “The King and I”….
Normal price R1796-00 - Special price R995-00 VAT and postage included.
INTER-PERSONAL SKILLS TRAINING PACKAGE.
This R995-00 package includes:
1x Conflict management DVD (Normal price R449-00) (My dog is SERIOUSLY conflicted!)
1x Working with difficult people DVD (Normal price R449-00)
1x Don't agonise - Solutionise DVD (Normal price R449-00)
1x Stress management DVD (Normal price R449-00)
Normal price R1796-00 - Special price R995-00 VAT and postage included.
MANAGEMENT SKILLS TRAINING PACKAGE.
This R995-00 package includes:
1x Manager's mistakes DVD (Normal price R449-00) (Why pay so much to learn how to stuff up?)
1x Effective leadership DVD (Normal price R449-00)
1x Growing employees DVD (Normal price R449-00) (By watering them regularly and giving them plenty sunshine?)
1x Making meetings work DVD (Normal price R449-00)
Normal price R1796-00 - Special price R995-00 VAT and postage included.
ATTITUDE AND MOTIVATION TRAINING PACKAGE
This R995-00 package includes:
1x Attitude and goal setting DVD (normal price R449-00)
1x Get what you set DVD (normal price R449-00)
1x Live your dreams -revisited DVD (normal price R449-00)
1x High morale for productivity plus DVD (normal price R449-00)
Normal price R1796-00 - Special price R995-00 VAT and postage included.
SELLING SKILLS PACKAGE.
This R995-00 package includes:
1x Closing the sale DVD (Normal price R449-00)
1x Overcoming objections DVD (Normal price R449-00) (Does it include a free judges gavel like in Matlock?)
1x Sales presentations that sell DVD (Normal price R449-00) "Normal price"? for a car maybe?....
1x Prospecting for sales success DVD (Normal price R449-00)
Normal price R1796-00 - Special price R995-00 VAT and postage included.
COMMUNICATION SKILLS PACKAGE
This R995-00 package includes:
1x Don't just hear - Listen! DVD (Normal price R449-00) (Does it have sub-titles?)
1x Time to talk DVD (Normal price R449-00)
1x Communicate for success DVD (Normal price R449-00)
1x Body language in business DVD (Normal price R449-00)
Normal price R1796-00 - Special price R995-00 VAT and postage included.
TIME MANAGEMENT AND ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING PACKAGE
This R995-00 package includes:
1x More hours in your day DVD (normal price R449-00)
1x Save time -delegate DVD (normal price R449-00)
1x Getting things done DVD (normal price R449-00)
1x Talking straight DVD (normal price R449-00) (A bit homo-phobic don’t you think?)
Normal price R1796-00 - Special price R995-00 VAT and postage included.
MANAGING TEAMS AND CHANGE PACKAGE.
“Change Package”? Is that like when Ken becomes Barbie?
This R995-00 package includes:
1x Dare to win DVD (Normal price R449-00)
1x Power to influence DVD (Normal price R449-00)
1x Managing change DVD (Normal price R449-00) (only carry notes?”)
1x Team talk DVD (Normal price R449-00) (Pacino’s” 7 inches” speech from “Any Given Sunday” tsk tsk...plagiarism you know…)
Normal price R1796-00 - Special price R995-00 VAT and postage included.
(Offer applies in the RSA only.)
Act NOW, this offer expires on Friday 14th January 2011.
To order, e-mail or phone with company details and your requirements.
As a valued client or potential client, we do not want to send you e-mails that do not add value to you or your business.
Or that don’t line our pockets through asinine products…
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Many thanks.
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